This am in the car:

Bethie: Mom, I still have these little bumps on my legs.

Ike: Mumps.

Me: Yup. Leg mumps.

Bethie: What? What are Leg Mumps?

Me: They’re caused by a certain type of worm that gets in your body.

(Pause)

Bethie: I’m not falling for that.

Sigh. Another fun era has ended. 😞

 It’s 11:08pm, I’m lying in bed, in the dark, watching testimony from the Murdaugh case, which just happens to be that of the attorney Mallory Beach’s parents hired after their 19yo daughter was killed by her drunk 19yo friend, and my phone rings: SHEP. My 19yo son. 

My heart stops. “What’s wrong?!?”

“Momma?” 

“”YES WHAT’S WRONG?!?”

“Hey Momma. Can you please put $1.40 in my account so I can buy some ramen? I only have .60 and I’m real real hungry.”

He can thank this awful trial that I sent him the $1.40 plus a bonus.

One time Daddy told me that our last name is French, and it means French Fry. Then I told all my friends at school and everybody laughed at me! 

- Bethie