One time Daddy told me that our last name is French, and it means French Fry. Then I told all my friends at school and everybody laughed at me! 

- Bethie

Ike gets up on the pulpit after church and says 'I'm gonna give a speech! Freedom for everyone! EVEN THE WOMEN!!'

Um....

Getting Into the car for church:
Me: Ike! You can't wear that! You wore those clothes yesterday and they're completely covered in food & dirt!
Ike: so what's wrong with that?

When walking to school:
Eva: Ike, is Camryn still your giirlfriiiend?
Ike: No! We're just friends! Anyway, she and Pierre were meant to be. Not me. Plus, I'm too cool for her. And weird.

#toughlove

Ike's Ipad and my phone share the same brain. I'm sure I could fix this, but I kinda like it. He regularly changes the name Siri calls him.

Which can cause strange things to occur. Like, at church, in the middle of a poignant sermon by our pastor Tim, Siri will loudly comment, "I'm not sure I understand, Booby Face."

Stuff like that.

Ike's Ipad and my phone share the same brain. I'm sure I could fix this, but I kinda like it. He regularly changes the name Siri calls him.

Which can cause strange things to occur. Like, at church, in the middle of a poignant sermon by Tim Frickenschmidt, Siri will loudly comment, "I'm not sure I understand, Booby Face."

Stuff like that.

Ike wanting to buy an app on his iPad: It's only .99  cents.
Me: Then give me a dollar, and I'll buy it for you.
He hands me one.
Me: Where'd you get this?
Ike: From your purse.

'Ike, if you don't let your lizards go, I think they're going to die soon.'

'Yeah, but Jack & Nate and I decided that when they die we can, you know, learn more about 'em.'

Future surgeons or future psychopaths? Only time will tell...

Ike just informed me that his name is Mr. WeinerButt ToothFart. You can call him that, or, you can call him Ike, he's okay with either one.

I told Ike something and he said, "Okay, I will tell that to my brain and it will remind me. My brain tells me things. Like watch: what's 2+2, brain? Four! What's 8+8, brain? Sixteen! See, it just told me that!"

Ike: How old is God & Jesus?
Me: older than anything ever.
Ike: like eighty sixty-three?
Me: bout that.

Who tooted?
Bethie: IKE!
Ike: NO! Boys do not toot, boys fart!

At baby Alice's baptism:

Ike: Mom, when can I get communion?
Me: When you confess that Jesus is your savior and you want to follow him for all your life.
Ike: Will I have to be nicer?
Me: Well, if you're following Jesus, then, yeah.
Ike: (shakes head) I'm always gonna be mean to Maggie.

Ike: I want to go to Daniel's house.

Walker: They're not home.

Ike: Yes, they are.

Walker: how do you know.

Ike (brief pause): Cause I'm a genius.

Ike: I love you Bethie.
Bethie: No!
Ike: YES I DO LOVE YOU, YOU BIG DUMB STUPID HEAD!!

Ike: why is ChicFilA closed today?
Me: so the people who work there can go to church.
Ike: is McDonalds open?
Me: yes.
Ike: oh that's cause McDonald's already knows all about God.

Ike just asked what would happen if he licked a scrape on his knee. I said nothing. He said, "Oh. Yesterday in the car Shep made me lick it. Then after I did, he told me tomorrow I would die."

Ike just called 911, for kicks. But seriously, y'all, I went 10 years of parenting before a kid of mine called 911. That's pretty special, huh?

I take mommy props wherever I can get them.

Maggie and Ike have this tendency to say, "I love you more than Satan!" and I'm like, um, thanks, I guess - ??

Ike asked where he came from. I said my tummy. No, like where did you go to get me. The hospital. I mean WHERE mom?!?
I guess this is what happens when your baby sister arrives via airplane.