About once a week or so I engage in a fantasy of throwing myself on the ground and thrashing and screaming at the top of my lungs

JUST! GET! YOUR! FREAKING! SHOES! ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but I restrain myself.

So far.

Because Frieda Pitts Hooks
broke her back recently, our Thanksgiving was cooked by Luby's this year. My mom ordered a roast, a ham, and a turkey for the week. And for the first time in my 40-something years, I was responsible for cooking thanksgiving, as in, taking the food out the containers & heating it. Easy, right?

I got two meats out and put them in the oven to heat up for 2 hours.

The beef, and the ham.

So for the first time in the history of ever, we had no turkey this Thanksgiving.‪#‎momfail‬

Maggie, frustrated with her math homework:

I'm in the Capital of Terribleland!!!