Our room gets really stuffy at night.
Maggie is watching some YouTube crap in the family room so I said, when you go to bed could you open our door?

She replied, “I’ll open your chest & rip out your entrails”

I only dreamed parenting could be like this. 

Maggie, talking about babies coming:

"...when the seagull drops the baby through the chimney."

Eva: Seagull?

Maggie: Wait. Not seagull. Pelican! When the pelican drops the baby through the chimney."

Mom, why do people get post-mortem depression?
-- Maggie

The Lazy Poem

October 2014

The Lazy Poem

Aka, the Maggie Poem 

By Evangeline Dollahon, age 10

(written on a napkin, just like the Gettysburg Address)

My butt sinks deeper into the couch

The tv is blaring, I tend to slouch

Popcorn kernels litter the floor,

Don't feel like getting up to get any more

Soda cans towering 

People are cowering 

They call it crazy

I call it lazy.

“Eva, we open bibles, not legs.”
- Maggie Dollahon
6-2-19

Walker's mom has been staying with us a couple of days, helping to watch Bethie while I pack. The concensus: "She seems better adjusted than, you know, most of the other grandkids" and "I think she is upping the Dollahon IQ pool." #Bethieforthewin