Friday, May 24, 2013

Shep: Mom, was I circosated when I was a baby?
Me: {Blank look}
Shep: You know, my nuts cut and stuff.
Me: {awkward pause, wondering how on earth this would have come into conversation among third graders} {me, breathing a sigh of relief}
Me: Oh, you've been reading your Bible, huh?
Shep: Yes! Moses was circosated when he was NINETY!
Me: Yeah. You were one day old. Better.
Shep: Way better.
As I rolled on top of Walker Dollahon and he groaned:
Me: Just think how hard it would be to move my body if you killed me.
Walker: Yeah, the ego alone.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Walker's mom has been staying with us a couple of days, helping to watch Bethie while I pack. The concensus: "She seems better adjusted than, you know, most of the other grandkids" and "I think she is upping the Dollahon IQ pool." #Bethieforthewin
Walker: Shep, you may not say "Don't be a homo". That is rude and disrespectful and unacceptable.
Shep and Eva Rose: He said "Don't be a hobo."
Walker: Oh. Well. Um. Don't say that either.
Shep and Eva Rose: What's a homo?
Walker: Just...don't say either one of them.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

20 year old checkout girl at HEB: "When I get older, I don't even want to have kids, I just want to adopt a baby girl from Africa...and name her Beyonce. And she will be fierce."