Friday, November 29, 2013


Why do they want us to marry Christmas?
Shep (on writing) have you ever done suppository text?

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Ike just called 911, for kicks. But seriously, y'all, I went 10 years of parenting before a kid of mine called 911. That's pretty special, huh?
I take mommy props wherever I can get them.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Farts are a result of the Fall, cause as soon as Adam & Eva farted, people smelled it & fell down. 

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

After eating four bowls of Chicken and Lime soup:

 "Mom, I just barfed the soup from dinner up in my mouth a little bit just now. And when I swallowed it back down, it still tasted so good."
Maggie and Ike have this tendency to say, "I love you more than Satan!" and I'm like, um, thanks, I guess - ??

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Me: It's true, you have not been managing your emotions well lately.
Shep: WHAT?! YES I HAVE!! {stomps off to room}